InformationWeek

The Secret CIO: Consider The 'Kiwi Factor'

To judge the importance of a meeting, look at the food that's served

By Herbert W. Lovelace
Issue column appeared: Feb. 26, 1996

The quality plan presentation Meeting is mind-numbing. An entire morning of corporate department heads presenting their quality plans. I expected to be bored by my own presentation, but I was hoping to get some enlightenment, or at least some amusement, from the other presenters. No such luck.

We're starting to go nuts in this company with the number of meetings. The worst part is that the meetings are putting weight on me. Not only to do I have to sit still for at least an hour, but I eat.

I did not begin to fixate on the food at meetings until I became a chief information officer. Before that, I never went to high-level industry conferences. There is always good food at high-level conferences. If you've ever been to a CSC Index or Computer Associates meeting, you know what I mean.

The CA meetings are the best. Charles Wang goes only first class: the Phoenician, the Homestead, places like that. The attendance lists are limited, so the food is not. Big bowls of jumbo shrimp, oysters, great wines, fantastic desserts. By the way, if you have not been to one of Charles' meetings but want to act like you have, remember two key facts: His name is Charles, not Charlie nor Chuck; and his last name is pronounced "Wong." You also ought to read his book, Techno Vision. If Bill Gates had written it, it would have been a best-seller.

There's alw ays some food available at our company meetings; maybe not as fancy as what's here today, and certainly not as fancy as Charles Wang serves, but always something. Our company culture dictates that nourishment, or at least coffee, is served at large meetings. Most of these are held in the morning, supposedly for ease of scheduling, but in reality, I think, because it is easier to pick morning food than an afternoon snack.

At lower-level meetings, the food is always coffee and Danish. Everyone knows office workers like Danish. Tea is provided for counterculture individuals. Higher-level management meetings are more interesting. Added to the coffee and Danish are orange juice, small bagels, and a fruit bowl. The key is the fruit bowl. It always contains orange segments, cantaloupe, and strawberries. The kiwi is the indicator. Call it the Kiwi Factor: If there is kiwi in the bowl, you know it's going to be a power meeting.

Eating Etiquette
It is important to follow protocol in getting seconds. You can't just get up when you're bored and get more food to break the monotony. No one gets up for seconds until the ranking officer refills. The meetings for the office workers are different. It's OK for them to get up first for refills because it shows equality and camaraderie.

In any case, the food is a good predictor of the meeting and may even signal more important events. Whenever our former president held a meeting, there were always several plates of cream cheese next to the little bagels. You could count on it. But in the middle of last year, I noticed the cream cheese had been replaced by orange marmalade. One of our three executive VPs, a real go-getter, favored orange marmalade. Sure enough, at the end of the year, our president retires and is replaced by Sir Marmalade.

If you are going to avoid being surprised by corporate politics, watch the actions of the wise and the astute. The secretaries always know.

When lunches are served, that's another situation. T otally different signals. But that's another story.

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