Is Fred truly lost? What are your plans for him? If nothing changes, Fred will eventually leave the company as a disgruntled employee. Fred's attitudes will not change quickly but can possibly be changed. Lay out a program of training sessions to give Fred the basic communications skills required, then develop scenarios that allow Fred to use his new skills in a safe environment. Fred needs to HEAR what other people are saying, and he's probably not going to like it at first. If it's done in a safe, supportive environment, Fred will survive.

Now, why do all this? First, even if Fred never gets the message, he will probably realize and understand the effort the corporation made to support him and he will still leave, but not disgruntled. Second, the program you just developed (communications training and safe scenarios) can be used with dynamite results on other Freds who aren't as locked in.

Finally, I realize that Fred could very well be a fictional character to make a point. Fred exemplified the problem; maybe he can help investigate the solution, too.

Stuart in Alexandria

Dear Stuart:,

You are correct on all counts. Fred needs to accept what other people are saying. Our difficulty has been that he does not value their opinions very highly, so his choice is either to accept "that's what it takes to get the job he wants" or he has to have an epiphany and see that his way is not the only way.

One of the things we have done is to suggest to Fred that he spend some time working with others in the organization on some of our group activities that require social interactions such as community service. He has accepted, and it seems to be helping. We have in addition offered to send him to a class on personal interactions and he is planning to do that, also.

It is bullshit artists like you that try to propagate this myth that a nice guy is more capable of doing a job than a technically competent one.

Sincerely,

Anton

Dear Anton:

Actually, if two people are essentially technically equal, as are Bruce and Fred, the nice guy is more capable of doing the job. People tend to trust others who are nice to them over those who are condescending or abusive.

I thought that your discussion on communication skills in the technical workplace was excellent. I have promptly framed it in my cube. I am a Notes Administrator at Moore Business Forms and I can't stress enough the value of being able to communicate technical information to non-technically inclined individuals.

More important, such technical individuals must undergo that painful process to gain humility, in that our beloved technology does not drive business goals, but rather, we need to understand the business needs of those we serve and choose the best tools to reach that particular business goal.

I wonder -- what type of institution could let an individual almost complete his or her MBA without instilling this precept of knowledge into their students? I would be biased and propose that this school is a night course "for the working professional." I have always favored the MBA as a full-time educational experience rather than as a series of night courses at local colleges.

I understand your personal unhappiness, but I doubt that there was much more that you could do in this particular situation. I would love to work for a CIO who would take the time out to accurately assess my strengths and weakness. The very fact that you lament over the failure to get through to him and that you could not express the information in a way that he can process shows commendable understanding of human nature.

Elias F.

Dear Elias,

It is unfortunate that many people in our field do not recognize that confidence in us must be achieved before our technical skills are really appreciated. It is a hard lesson to learn that people will not trust someone whom do they do not feel is communicating clearly and candidly on a peer level with them.

I don't think the fact that Fred was getting his MBA at night had anything to do with his lack of education about interpersonal skills and training in how to master them. I have found that these skills are difficult to learn and honored more in theory than in practice in schools. Or, to put it another way, the best professors are those who can teach (that is, who can communicate), and we all know that they are not the most common commodity on college campuses.

I couldn't agree more with your recent article, "Why Did You Promote Him?" Communication skills are extremely important, most likely in all areas of business, followed by competent technical skills. We like our technical people to be "approachable," which means they know what they are saying and know how to say it. In other words, they don't talk down to the people seeking their advice, and can speak their language instead of technical-ese).

One piece of advice for your employee Fred -- attend the Dale Carnegie course, or at least read his book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" (Pocket Books). What a difference it has made for me at my present employer (two promotions later!). Of course, Fred has to accept that improvements in his com munications skills are in order -- or else he will gain nothing from this course.

Steve

Dear Steve:

I am delighted to know that your own efforts have been successful. You are to be congratulated for having the fortitude to improve an area where your skills were not what you wanted them to be. In addition to the one you mention, there are several books that would help Fred ensure that he is perceived as being the type of person who gets along well with others. Of course, as you point out, he has to believe that he needs to improve his abilities in interpersonal relationships. Among the easiest books to read is " So, What's Your Point? " By James C. Wetherbe and Bond Wetherbe (Meade Publishing, 1996). It is every bit the practical guide to learning and applying effective communication skills that it intends to be.