InformationWeek

October 11, 1999

Secret CIO:
What Is It That You're Selling?
Dispensing platitudes is no substitute for providing useful information

Secret CIO recently returned from a conference at which I was a speaker. My session went well; at least I didn't notice anyone dozing off while I was speaking--but, of course, my eyesight and hearing are deteriorating as I get older. On the way to my room, I stopped in the exhibition center and picked up some vendor material, figuring that I might as well learn something about the self-proclaimed most important new products in the marketplace--the list seems to change weekly--before the luncheon.

As I relaxed and began to peruse the pretty brochures, what struck me was how poorly they communicated even the most basic of information.

One of them was as beautiful a work of graphics art as you could imagine. Behind the attention-getting cover was an introductory page that started off with something like, "In today's fast-paced global market, the ability to provide access to the right applications and data is absolutely indispensable for achieving and maintaining a competitive edge over your competition." And so it went on for at least four pages, dispensing platitudes as if they were insights, and regurgitating every major problem faced by a CIO.

I never did find out how this company would solve them because I tossed its attractive pamphlet into a conveniently located trash can.

The next piece of vendor literature started off by explaining the value of uncovering all the information stored in my enterprise so that I could immediately answer any business question that might arise. It then went on to explain that "in today's evolving business market, the ability to develop and maintain a competitive edge depends on fast, flexible access to information." Again, I didn't read far enough to discover what these folks sold.

Because it hadn't told me after three pages (my patience was waning by this point, so it got less of a chance than the first piece of literature), I permitted this brochure to join its sibling in the circular container. It wasn't a total waste, though, since I did learn that the company was a solution provider, which made me feel all tingly and good, solutions being what I need.

It's really unfortunate that too many vendors seem to have forgotten that they have to make their points quickly and succinctly. They should know that the average CIO has a staggering amount of paper cross his or her desk, not to mention E-mail and voice mail.

We find ourselves having to skim practically everything to determine what, if anything, requires closer attention. It's increasingly difficult for me to learn quickly what vendors are really selling, based on reading their promotional material; I sometimes wonder if they know themselves. Or maybe the people designing the marketing campaigns are far more sophisticated than I'm recognizing.

Perhaps what I'm seeing is a transfer to industrial marketing of what seems to be the norm in political campaigns: Talk a lot but say very little; show empathy and try to be all things to all people.

Wouldn't it be fun to see a different approach? I am reminded of a film from 1990 called Crazy People. The critics hated it. It bombed at the box office. I loved it. It's about a bunch of lunatics (certified ones living in an asylum) who develop advertising campaigns. They become wildly successful because they are bitingly honest about icons such as AT&T, Sony, and Volvo. Imagine that approach today:

"We sell software that is expensive and requires skill to implement. With accurate data and knowledgeable people, it can provide significant insights about your customers' buying habits. If your data stinks and so do your people, even though our software will be useless, you'll still feel like an industry leader buying from us."

I'd be willing to read on if I saw something like that in a brochure. The honesty would be refreshing. I guess it's too much to ask for, but it sure would be nice.

Herbert W. Lovelace is the CIO at a multibillion-dollar international company. Herb practices his day job under an alias and has changed the names of colleagues to protect the guilty. Send him E-mail at lovelace@home.com. He will provide real answers--and whimsical comments--to your questions on InformationWeek Online at www.informationweek.com.

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