InformationWeek

For me, however, one of the real joys of being a CIO hasn't been mentioned in any article I've ever seen. Being the CIO means that I don't have to be a project manager. I fervently believe that IT project managers have one of the worst jobs in the whole company. This isn't to say that there aren't a lot of very difficult jobs; it's just that I think the project manager has one that combines the joys of self-mutilation with the pleasure derived from using a spoon to empty a lake.

Picture the classic role thrust upon the project manager. People high up in the company's chain of command hold very meaningful meetings with each other about what is needed to move the business boldly ahead. Then they call in, or call upon (it all depends on the relative pecking order) the CIO to obtain his or her blessing and, more important, commitment for this great leap forward. Next comes the important task of defining the scope and price of this new project, which for ease of nomenclature and consistency (all good IT projects have acronyms) we shall call INPLUS (Important New Project Leading Us Somewhere).

Now, you and I know that before you were identified as the best potential project leader for INPLUS, the people who thought it up had bandied around a ballpark time and cost estimate, thus completing an important element of all projects, the Pre-knowledge Inflexible Commitment, or PIC, phase.

Buoyed by pride (if you're new to the job) and optimism (if you're foolish) at being chosen for the important task of ensuring the success of INPLUS, you attend your first user-specification meeting, where you find out that there is no consensus on, and even less understanding of, what INPLUS is to accomplish. Somehow, however, you and your brave team muddle through a series of such gatherings populated with an ever-changing cast of businesspeople and finally get an idea as to what is required (most of the details being generated by your team, who in the process learn more about the business than the majority of users involved).

If your timing is consistent with most projects, you finish the INPLUS scope and cost document a few days before one of the attendees on the user side convinces management that a major scope change must be implemented, of course without any increase in cost or time.

You have the honor of being invited to the executive-level meeting where, regardless of how hard you or your CIO complain, the change is approved. You are also the one who has to tell your team about it and ask them (young mothers, guys with families, folks who want to have a life, etc.) to work all sorts of crazy hours to meet the new artificial deadlines. The pressure is on because if INPLUS doesn't function as anticipated, your career in the company will suddenly become more focused-you can cross off lots of once-shining opportunities. If it works but is a little late or more expensive than expected, you certainly won't get any sympathy from people outside the IT shop. They don't understand the stumbling blocks the team had to overcome.

There are some pluses to being a project manager, though. The job trains you to come up with some really insightful questions that have no rational answers. As one of our best asked me after a particularly grueling steering committee session, "Why am I having to apologize for the fact that a vaguely defined five-month project is late by three weeks when the guys in charge of it have such rotten planning skills that the one-hour meeting they call to discuss what happened lasts all afternoon?"