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Patricia Keefe
 
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High-Tech Obsolescence: How To Date Yourself In A Nanosecond

I'm a night owl, or, as one of my smarty-pants sisters likes to put it, a vampire. I don't require lots of sleep, and I can get so much done in the distraction-free hours of the night. That's also when I happen to listen to TV the most--usually in background for a little white noise. Every now and then, something flashing across the screen from one of the mostly boring late-night talk shows catches my attention. The other night it was the Jimmy Kimmel Live! show. He did a very amusing sketch with another guy titled something like, "Words We Didn't Know 10 Years Ago." Basically, they sat down and talked about iPods and IMing each other. It was cute.

| Patricia Keefe | January 19, 2006 07:06 PM

I'm a night owl, or, as one of my smarty-pants sisters likes to put it, a vampire. I don't require lots of sleep, and I can get so much done in the distraction-free hours of the night. That's also when I happen to listen to TV the most--usually in background for a little white noise. Every now and then, something flashing across the screen from one of the mostly boring late-night talk shows catches my attention. The other night it was the Jimmy Kimmel Live! show. He did a very amusing sketch with another guy titled something like, "Words We Didn't Know 10 Years Ago." Basically, they sat down and talked about iPods and IMing each other. It was cute.And it got me to thinking: What do I take for granted that my nieces and nephews, ages 2 to 7, and even some older kids today won't know or would barely recognize when they hear or see it? Once I started pulling together a list, it was hard to stop. So here's how to date yourself in a nanosecond:

  • Albums, records, cassette tapes, and turntables (though the trendonistas say the turntable is making a comeback).
  • Typewriters. Self-explanatory, but I can remember clamoring to use a Tele-Ram portabubble, and later an Atex portable. The former was torturous to use, the latter barely luggable, but both were still way better than a typewriter. A colleague recalls student journalists in the early '90s asking her how you turned on a (manual) typewriter. 'Nuff said.
  • Video rental stores (hard to believe they still exist, actually).
  • Tethered phones (landlines) and eventually, I expect, wired anything.
  • Paper letters or notes or records. We E-mail, text message, IM, teleconference, and voice mail. Our kids won't need no stinking stamps and nice paper, never mind notepads.
  • Check float is already gone. Checkbooks and savings pass books are going. Heck--the use of any paper at all to conduct or record financial transactions.
  • Paper money, coins, and tokens. Electronic wallets will soon replace plastic, paper, and metal currencies.
  • Nondigital cameras--Nikon last week said it plans to shift its focus almost entirely to digital photography and will stop making most of its film-based cameras. Konica is following suit.
  • Single-function appliances and gadgets. Cells phone today do everything but take your temperature; autos access video, TV, and the Internet; and even appliances are starting to merge. Toast, eggs, and coffee anyone?
  • Encyclopedia sets and text books. Why buy every student an armful of expensive books that will soon be lost, damaged and outdated, when they can just log on and get the latest educational text, intact, at any time?
  • Manual anything. Up until two years ago, I drove a car that had, as I often had to explain, manual everything (for AC, for ex., you rolled down the windows and drove faster). I actually loved that car, but have finally joined the modern age. Kids today won't know that cars once were just unconnected metal boxes on wheels incapable of talking to you.
  • Keys (to anything) and nonautomatic door locks. Even "key" cards may quickly move into obsolescence given the advances in biometrics.
  • Tickets to events, sports, and concerts. Apparently access to these venues will be auctioned off in the very near future.
  • Watches. When every gadget and piece of technology on the planet tells you what time it is, why would most of us need to wear a watch?
  • Privacy. Between identity thefts, rootkits, magnetic cards stuffed with our every detail, online banking and bill paying, municipally run video cameras, RFID tracking, etc., and many other activities and technologies, privacy is fast going the way of typewriters and could end up as the next antique curiosity.

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    Which brings me to things that could away, but for the innate need to socialize:

  • Movie theaters
  • Office buildings
  • Malls

    But there are also Concepts and Things so culturally sacred, they are not likely to ever disappear--though they might evolve:

  • Libraries
  • Automobiles
  • Highways--they might eventually take on a Jetson-like look, but traffic has to be channeled and ordered somehow.

    I am sure you can think of a lot more--products, entertainments, tools, and technologies--that will draw a blank look from the younger generations and their offspring, even as we wax nostalgic. (I still have my turntables, cassette players, and some ancient manual typewriters, and they aren't going anywhere anytime soon!) Drop us a line with your own candidates for technology's dustbin, or respond to this blog entry.


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