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The Last CIO Standing: Joke #1

There’s nothing funny about being a CIO -- right?

There’s a TV show by the name of “Last Comic Standing” -- have you seen it? It’s the comedy equivalent of "American Idol" -- a combination reality show and standup comedy review, where a group of comedians vie for the title of “Last Comic Standing” by outwitting their rivals in a joke-off before judges and a local comedy club audience. The winners move on to a quarter-final contest, then a semi-final contest, a national contest, etc.

What has that got to do with CIOs, you may wonder? There’s nothing funny about being a CIO -- right? Not so fast. As far as I can tell, the CIO position is rife with comedic potential. And who knows, there may be a slew of unacknowledged comedic geniuses slaving away in technology organizations, yearning to exercise their satiric wits -- Robin Williams with a network diagram, Jerry “Software” Seinfeld, Lenny Bruce 2.0.

If you’ve got a joke about being a CIO, a funny technology anecdote, or a satiric IT insight, share it with us. Comment on this blog, or send it directly to me at jsoat@cmp.com. The funniest contribution will get a CIOs Uncensored tschochke, and our undying gratitude for lightening things up around the old technology landscape.

Here’s our first entry (thanks, I.G.):

The new CIO arrives at her new office, just to find the old CIO packing up. The old CIO hands the new CIO three envelopes and instructs her to open one each time she runs into trouble on her new job.

Days later, the new CIO is already struggling with a difficult project. She opens the first envelope and reads "Blame me". She blames the problems on the old CIO and the troubles pass.

A week later, another project is in huge trouble. The new CIO opens the second envelope and reads, "Reorganize." She turns the department upside down with new assignments. The confusion takes the focus off the troubled project.

A month later, and another crisis appears. The new CIO opens the third envelope and reads, "Get three envelopes..."

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