Google's announcement of the new, "Android" smartphone platform had less substance than a fashion show at a nudist colony. It's a non-existent smartphone, codeless software, and an alliance of major mobile phone players that leaves out most of the major phone vendors.

And still their stock price went up. Damn, they're good.

My colleague, the stalwart Tom Claburn, reports on what's missing from the announcement:

• It's a phone announcement without a phone. Instead, Google announced Android, a Linux-based open software development software platform. Google says phones will ship at the end of 2008, from its hardware partners.

• It's a software announcement without software. The first time we'll see code is when Google releases the software development kit Nov. 12. Will Android actually prove to be a new, integrated software stack? Or just a tarball of an operating system and a bunch of applications already available on Sourceforge? Tune in six days from now and find out.

• Also missing: The major smartphone vendors and carriers. In alphabetical order: Apple, AT&T, Microsoft, Nokia, Palm, Research in Motion, Symbian, and Verizon.

Until Android-based phones come out, a year from now, I guess we'll just have to flip open our wallets and pretend to be talking on the phone, like Merlin Mann does in his 30 Seconds With Phone Guy spots.

GigaOM described the announcement as "one massive PR move, with nothing to show for it right now." With phone shipments a year away, GigaOM wonders why mobile software developers should shift focus from the iPhone, Symbian, mobile Linux, and Microsoft Windows Mobile. (To be fair, the iPhone SDK isn't available yet either -- that's expected to ship in January. But at least Apple has a phone.)

You know, Apple takes a lot of criticism for the iPhone. Some of it is deserved, some of it is nonsense. But here's one thing you can do with the iPhone that you can't do with Android:

Buy one.

Google's stock price closed at 725.65, up 14.4 Monday.

Damn, they're good.