OK, so you can't take yourself public like Visa. But how much thought have you given to that big, fat check coming your way in May? You know, the "Spend our way out of this nonrecession" check?After trolling the Net, here are some possibilities* you may have missed.

This "Valuable Internet Marketing Information" frankly makes me a little nervous -- not the Nigerian banking scam kind of nervous, but more like a half-off, day-old sushi sign. Probably not much in the way of storage smarts in there anyway.

Hmmmm ... a Sears gift card? Can I use that Skilcraft set on my SAN? I'll bet that Kenmore guy could make a helluva hard drive.

Here's a cheaper alternative to touring the Loire Valley, now that the euro versus the dollar looks like a Chris Farley/Pee Wee Herman grudge match. You won't need to renew your passport, either.

How about a two-week old iPhone? It's got a few GB of capacity for those favorite YouTube moments. Surely that feline's mellow jazz stylings can send the Dow soaring. Or a Dell PC with an 80-GB hard drive, DVD-ROM player, and 256 MB RAM. Now we're getting somewhere. That's enough to run VMware ESX, right?

Give these guys a jingle after that next desktop crash, and see how much they can recover. With their rates, you may even have some leftover funds to go out and stimulate anew. Like with an external drive to make good on those backup promises you've been making.

You're looking for equity, you say? Aren't we all. Take your Uncle Sam windfall and pony up for maybe a dozen shares of NetApp stock.

*Offer only good for 2007 federal tax filers; your check may be more than $300. These Google search results are no indicator of your actual results. Un-patriotic whiners need not apply. Void where prohibited.