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In Your Face, Climate Alarmists

The agitators over at grassfire.org want you to "break free from the 'carbon footprint guilt' being imposed by Climate Alarmists."

The group, which bills itself as "one of the most innovative and impactful online, conservative organizations in the country," is urging citizens to "wake up to the [sic] Al Gore's perpetrated Climate Alarmist ruse."

They've designated June 12 "Carbon Belch Day," and suggest "hosting a barbecue, going for a drive, watching television, leaving a few lights on, or even smoking a few cigars" on that day.

Can do! Except for the cigars, but I'll make it up to you, Climate Alarmists.

Let me further relieve my own carbon footprint guilt by listing the rest of the activities grassfire.org recommends for supersizing your carbon belch on the Big Day:

• Take an 8-minute shower


• Drink bottled water


• Super-cool your house (turn A/C down 5 degrees)


• Go boating


• Eat meat with at least two meals (steak dinner gets a bonus)


• Mow your lawn with gas-powered mower


• Leave 2 light bulbs on for entire day


• Drink beer


• Light a campfire


• Do partial load of laundry


• Take a plane trip


• Don't recycle newspapers/glass/plastic/aluminum for one day


• Leave computer on 24 hours

I have a couple of suggestions of my own for grassfire.org, which is playing right into the hands of the Climate Alarmists by maintaining a low-carb(on) online operation. It's going to have to take things offline if it wants to make a big statement on June 12. Here's what to do:

• Print up tens of millions of flyers debunking the Climate Alarmists and drop them from planes over major cities.
• Print up tens of millions of direct mail pieces and take advantage of bulk mailing rates to stuff mailboxes from coast to coast. Bonus: Most bulk rate mail (Climate Alarmists would call it "junk mail"),winds up in landfills. The downside: All that printing will fell some trees, which are known to cause global warming -- if there were such a thing. So whatever carbon is belched by printing and transporting tons of printed materials will be somewhat mitigated by the loss of forest. Luckily, most paper companies re-forest, so the ill effects should be temporary.

If I find a flyer from grassfire.org in my mailbox or on the sidewalk, that loud belch you hear will be me, not recycling it, on June 12.

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