It's Microsoft to the rescue for bratty children who've run out of reasons why their parents should pony up cash for an Xbox 360, economic slump be damned. The Xbox Web site will now generate a customized letter "that proves to the gift-giver in your life why you need an Xbox 360 console." I'm going to put it to the test.The site, by the way, features a nattily attired young boy who appears to be in the throes of demonic possession. He looks like his head will spin around if he doesn't get an Xbox. A 360 for a 360? I guess that's fair.

To generate the letter, kids of all ages must answer a range of questions about who they want to convince into buying them an Xbox, which holiday they are celebrating, and how they would thank the gift giver.

Because I believe in participatory journalism, and since my current video game console is really an Etch A Sketch, I decided to give this a whirl. I'm hoping to convince that weird guy I see on the street corner every morning at 6 a.m. when I go out for breakfast to buy me an Xbox.

Here's an excerpt of what Microsoft came up with for me after I filled out the form:

Dear Stranger, It's that season again, the time of year when we celebrate Festivus, with festive, profound silence and the exchanging of gifts. As my gift for you, I'd like to make it as easy as possible for you to select the present that'll earn my heartfelt passing acknowledgement. It's simple, I want an Xbox Arcade console. In closing, I'd like you to remember that I've been especially odor-free this year. TTFN, Paul

Well, with such a missive in hand I'm confident I'll be getting my Xbox real soon! Or maybe I'll just get mugged. Either way, the important thing is to remember the true spirit of Festivus. And since I don't know what that last sentence meant, I'm signing off now.

Happy Cyber Monday, everyone!