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8/5/2014
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An IT Admin Walks Into A BarÖ

Got a good IT joke? Share it! We're collecting IT humor in anticipation of Seth Meyers' comedy keynote at Interop New York.

SNL alum and Late Night host Seth Meyers will perform a comedy keynote at Interop New York on October 1. Meyers’ comedy credentials—head writer at Saturday Night Live and anchor of SNL’s Weekend Update to name two—are enviable, but that doesn’t mean he gets to be the only one who tells jokes.

I’m also willing to bet that Meyers couldn’t tell a LUN from a LAN, or that Cat-5 doesn’t mean you own four other felines. So let’s help him out a little by collecting some IT humor.

I’ll get the ball rolling with a few jokes scooped up from the Internet, but if you’ve got a favorite IT or tech joke, share it with the rest of us.

**A SQL admin walks into a bar and joins two tables. (Source)

**A hot-air balloonist suddenly realizes he’s lost. The balloonist spots a person on the ground and shouts "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The person on the ground says "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do," replies the person. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone."

The person below replies "You must work in management."

"I do," says the balloonist. "How'd you know?"

"Well," says the person, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault." (Source)

**If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0. (Source)

**Tech Support: I need you to right-click on ‘Open Desktop.’

Customer: Ok.

Tech Support: Did you get a pop-up menu?

Customer: No.

Tech Support: Ok. Right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?

Customer: No.

Tech Support: Ok, can you tell me what you’ve done up until this point?

Customer: Sure, you told me to write “click”  and I wrote “click.” (Source)

OK, now it's your turn. Let's see if you can get over the (admittedly low) bar I've set by sharing your own jokes in the Comments section below.

Drew is formerly editor of Network Computing and currently director of content and community for Interop. View Full Bio
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ClareCM
IW Pick
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ClareCM,
User Rank: Strategist
8/6/2014 | 1:17:34 PM
ha ha
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
David Wagner
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David Wagner,
User Rank: Strategist
8/7/2014 | 3:49:04 PM
Re: ha ha
Can't say I have any good IT jokes, but this is by far my favorite joke:

A travelling saleman is driving by a farm, and, of course, his car breaks down. He walks to the farmhouse for help and while he's going there he sees a pig with a wooden leg.

He gets to the farm house and the farmer helps him call a tow truck. As he's waiting, he says to the farmer, "Hey, what's up with the pig with the wooden leg?"

The farmer says, "that pig? I love that pig. It saved my life! I was caught in a fire and that pig ran into the building and dragged me out through the roaring flames!"

The salesman says, "Wow, that's amazing. Is that when the pig got hurt?"

the farmer says, "No way. When you've got a pig that amazing you don't eat him all at once."
David Wagner
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David Wagner,
User Rank: Strategist
8/7/2014 | 3:57:45 PM
Re: ha ha
@ClareCM- That's hilarious. I actually interviewed for a job writing error messages at a major IT company that shall remain nameless. They briefly got it in their heads that friendlier error messages would be read more. 

But funny enough, before they hired someone, they decided they were crazy and didn't fill the job. Would have loved to try it. :)
nicky48
IW Pick
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nicky48,
User Rank: Strategist
8/7/2014 | 4:05:38 PM
Re: ha ha
I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the Home button and I'm still at work.
vnewman2
IW Pick
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vnewman2,
User Rank: Ninja
8/7/2014 | 4:13:02 PM
Re: ha ha
@David. hahaha. I love a good farm joke. Here's my farm-animal-PG-rated contribution:

What do you call a cow that has just given birth?  Decaffeinated!

I'll try to think of a good IT joke. I don't know if I can top the SQL joke however - that's a good one.
mejiac
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mejiac,
User Rank: Ninja
8/7/2014 | 4:19:44 PM
Re: ha ha
@CareCM, I literally LOL!,

I don't know that many jokes, but this is one of my favorite dilberts...enjoy

 
batye
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batye,
User Rank: Ninja
8/7/2014 | 4:27:59 PM
Re: ha ha
for me it will always be please juggle the power cable before asking if power is on....
Ashu001
IW Pick
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Ashu001,
User Rank: Ninja
8/7/2014 | 4:30:05 PM
Re: ha ha
NIcky,

Brilliant! Really Brilliant Joke!



I have to admit iPhone Fanatics won't love it one bit!!!

Here's my Joke(albleit an old One);

A PC Owner calls Customer Support telling them that his Coffee Cup Holder is Broken.

The Customer Support Exec sounds totally perplexed on the Phone and asks the Consumer-Sir,Could you please tell me what is written on the Cup Holder?

It says Play and Eject!!!

Brilliant one![That tray table was actually a DVD Drive].
mejiac
IW Pick
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mejiac,
User Rank: Ninja
8/7/2014 | 4:40:09 PM
Real Conference Calls
Not necessarilly an IT Joke, but I know many of you can relate to this... enjoy

 

Funny Conference Call
Susan_Nunziata
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Susan_Nunziata,
User Rank: Strategist
8/7/2014 | 5:08:09 PM
Re: Real Conference Calls
@Mejiac: that is one of the funniest ever, having been on so many calls JUST LIKE THAT! Makes me laugh every time I see it. 
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