Attention Google: 12 Ways To Make Smartphones More Manly
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Andrew Hornback
Andrew Hornback,
User Rank: Apprentice
3/2/2013 | 5:23:27 AM
re: Attention Google: 12 Ways To Make Smartphones More Manly
So, I can't help but notice that most of these accessories are for the iPhone... an Apple product. Apple... fruit. Hmm... not exactly manly, unless you're talking apple wood smoked BBQ.

Then you have the Blackberry... Blackberry... another fruit. Again, not exactly manly... although, blackberry brandy does have it's place.

Meanwhile, Google has the Android platform, or Droid, for short. Say Droid to most folks, and their first or second round of word association is going to be something related to Star Wars. Now we're getting somewhere - so, you've got a multitude of heroes (from the kid with "the gift" to a privateer who's primary goal is profit to a big guy covered in hair to a short guy with a skin issue to a ghost) all who carry one form of weaponry or another AND know how to wield it properly. Tell me that's not manly?

So, a lot of the recommendations above have to do with cases... I carry my Droid in a microfiber draw-string sack (to keep it clean) - it's strong enough, doesn't need armor to protect it. If it matters, it generally rides in a USMC surplus ILBE pack during my commute - how much manlier than that can you get?

The gun mount is a cool idea, but see if you can find one that fits on a set of Picatinny rails and we'll talk. Ringtone alternates between "I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide" by ZZ Top, "Crosstown Traffic" by Jimi Hendrix, "Boom Boom Boom Boom" by John Lee Hooker (or for when the ladies are blowin' up my cell, a little Reverend Al Green) - go ahead, try to get manlier, dare ya.

The lens idea is cool - but I'm generally carrying a camera anyway. Duct tape? Don't you mean 200 mph tape? NASCAR reference, yes... manly, yes. And just what are touchscreen gloves? Even in the middle of a NYC snowstorm or bone chilling cold, I'll take off my black leather flight gloves to use my phone.

Voice changing app? Really? I'm a baritone as it is, do I really need to go subsonic? Maybe, with the whole far away intimidation thing. And phone balls, really? Not needed here... I've got a Droid. :)

Andrew Hornback
InformationWeek Contributor
(and occasional comedian)
User Rank: Author
3/1/2013 | 9:53:21 PM
re: Attention Google: 12 Ways To Make Smartphones More Manly
Alicia Keys recently signed on as Global Creative Director for RIM and promised to help RIM get in touch with its 'feminine side.' Perhaps Sergey should bring Clint Eastwood on as Global Creative Director?

This very funny column made me think of the scene in "Diary of a Wimpy Kid' where Greg's parents hand him a red "ladybug" phone for kids. Some duct tape could have helped!

Laurianne McLaughlin
Deirdre Blake
Deirdre Blake,
User Rank: Apprentice
3/1/2013 | 7:14:09 PM
re: Attention Google: 12 Ways To Make Smartphones More Manly
Ha, very funny column. But in Brin's defense, I think he was talking about himself personally, and he is a male and can thus feel emasculated. His larger point is that the now-common attachment to and way we use mobile devices does draw us away from face-to-face human interaction, which I certainly can't argue with. I don't know that the glasses will really do anything to change that though, since I see it as an issue of where your attention is directed -- you can ignore someone just as effectively behind goggles as you can by fiddling with your phone.
User Rank: Apprentice
3/1/2013 | 5:13:10 PM
re: Attention Google: 12 Ways To Make Smartphones More Manly
Don't forget the Chuck Norris smartphone case and to set Siri to autocorrect "Chuck Norris" to "badass." And of course, Chuck routinely sends BBMs to iPhones. Lorna Garey, IW Reports

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