Some European journos at last week's RSA Conference spent most of the keynotes yapping into Skype-enabled laptops, annoying their U.S. counterparts. Hey fellas, we weren't there to hear you, even though some of those conversations had to be better than John Chambers' rote keynote.

The show had its consolations. For one, Baseball Hall of Famer Dave Winfield wandering about.

Big Dave is on the board of Authentify, a telephone-based identity management company. Asked what the company does—hey, it doesn't hurt to test the guy—he said, "They do a little something with managing your identification. It's a great technology. Very different, but I'm not going to get into that right now." Translation: "I have no clue."

Asked if he was going to be the next CEO of a major tech company, Winfield said, "I don't know about that, but I'm going to continue to hit doubles and home runs in my next career." Youch. Even Dave Winfield needs better lines than that.

Chambers got better reviews from solution providers earlier this month when subjected to their questions. The hottest topic: They wanted his take on the ouster of former Cisco board member Carly Fiorina from Hewlett-Packard.

Chambers channeled "The Godfather" in his response: "It wasn't personal. It was business," he said, adding that he expects Carly to land on her feet. Probably very well-shod feet, given Fiorina appears to be schlepping off with about $45 million in cash and options.

Speaking of Carly (and who isn't?), HP slammed down the cone of silence about her departure and possible successors, but that didn't stop one brave vice president from having some fun.

Hounded for comment at Red Hat's LinuxWorld launch of Enterprise 4, HP's Martin Fink teased CRN with his own top 10 list of possible successors: Among them, Red Hat CEO Matthew Szulik, who was noticeably absent from the event (that's akin to Bill Gates blowing off the Windows 95 intro). Fink, tongue firmly in cheek, attributed Szulik's absence to some "high-level" meetings on the West Coast. (The Red Hat EVP who handled the event said Szulik had just flown back from India, and boy, were his arms tired. Ba dum bum.

Fink did say he met with Carly in early February and was pleased she noticed his significant weight loss—more than 50 pounds doing the "North Beach" diet, a combination of South Beach and Atkins. Losing weight on the road is quite a feat. Fink carried Atkins bars on a recent trip to Asia-Pacific, which kept his glucose level high enough for the journey.