Hi, I'm Faye. I'm a live animal that can talk.
My main interest is astrophysics, but I was a systems programmer in assembler until I wised up to the so-called "real" world. Before that, I programmed a gamma-ray spectrometer and designed fail-safe gizmos for a nuc reactor.
One of them monitors damage to a stainless steel crystal lattice which is being slammed by fast neutrons.
I was also the valedictorian of the CS department at the third-ranked school for CS. I minored in math.
I am now in grad school (online) in computer forensics and network security. Basically, it's a bunch of classes in hacking, so it's rilly cool!
Note that none of the above actually implies that I'm a "grownup." I have absolutely no idea why everybody wants to be one.
I'm supposedly an autistic-savant — a rare female one, too. At least, that's what the psychometrician told me at the Maryland state mental hospital when I was committed there after I did something it turns out I love. She was probably joking, though. I can never tell with you people.
"Autistic" means I can't perceive emotions or intent, which means I'm dangerously naive and vulnerable to being lied to and manipulated, particularly at work. Bad people blame me for their own mistakes and I don't even know it until it is too late. It also means I reveal too much about myself. I'm probably doing it again right now.
But, you know, the hell with it.
"Savant" means "smart genetic mutant." Only, not cool "mutant" like the X-Men; I get treated more like the Elephant Man.
The thing is, I'm not actually smart; I'm profoundly stupid. It's just that everybody else is even stupider. I understand the universe about as well as my cat. And I think he knows something I don't, because he's always smiling and I never am.
My main interest is the 4-dimensional interval metric of SR and what it implies about the hyperbolic topology of spacetime. Almost no one has seriously considered the full extent what that equation implies.
Combine it with Feynman's observatyion that mass is nothing but momentum in the direction of future time, and you can see how everything fits together.
Penrose's book, "The Road to Reality" is the key to fully understanding it, but the math becomes increasingly difficult. Even I can't do M-theory.
I'm writing an article I hope to publish in Astrophysical Journal. Then everyone will know my real last name and I'll get stalked again.
I appear to be unable to feel hate. Or jealousy or revenge or rage — I'm sure it's an Autism Thang. You may think this is a blessing, but I can't feel love, either.
To me, that IS a blessing when I see how much it hurts other people. Don't get me wrong, I love my kitty-cat. At least, before he died. Then I felt unendurable grief. Unfortunately, I can feel that, too.
I love humanity, and all life, really. In fact, I think I have "cancer of the empathy."
I also love instantiating the mating instinct so much that it's what got me committed to that mental hospital. But I only like it with a stranger while restrained and crying hard—the only time I ever express any overt emotion at all.
I finally couldn't stand non-academia anymore and abandoned "humanity." I have lived naked in the woods for 3 years in my "cave" behind a parking garage. It's a half-buried one-person tent in what looks like a bomb crater, covered with layers of plastic and blankets.
I hacked into the power grid. You can drop 250V to 125 without a transformer if you're a Jedi of The Understanding Stuff.
I have a hot plate where I make cheese fondue with white wine, peppadew peppers, and Kirsch. Money goes a long way when food and 4G net access is all you have to buy.
I also have my dorm fridge, a space heater I never need, A/C I need even in winter because this place is so damn-well insulated, a shortwave and other strange radios, and an 4.7 GHz 32G computer with thermoelectric cooling I designed myself.
It's the size of an Apollo capsule, decorated with festive, colored Christmas lights and packed with technology.
I LOVE it in here. Best tof all, there's none of those human creatures!
Yeah, yeah, you don't believe it. I don't care, but here: tiny url dot com slash cavekane (NSFW).
The rumors are true; someone on the internet is crazy!
Who would ever have imagined?
Faye Kane,girl brain, smartmouth smartass