Strategic CIO // IT Strategy
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8/29/2014
08:06 AM
David Wagner
David Wagner
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Geekend: Fight Zombies, Or Go To Mars?

It's the most divisive question in all of geekdom: What do you do when the zombies invade?

Geek's Guide To NYC Travel: Interop Preview
Geek's Guide To NYC Travel: Interop Preview
(Click image for larger view and slideshow.)

Bear with me as I paint a picture of how I came across the geekiest question ever asked. I was at a party with 20 or 30 of my oldest friends, mostly from college, all with serious geek cred. In the room were engineers, IT pros, writers, and sci-fi fans galore. On most questions throughout the night, there was generally a consensus -- except one.

That one burning question had the room nearly evenly split. Not only that, but everyone at the party was convinced there was no room for discussion; the other side was clearly insane. Never have I seen a question so excite geeks and so divide them at the same time. So it occurred to me I had to share this question with an even bigger Geek community:

If a Walking Dead-style zombie apocalypse began and you and your family were invited on to a spaceship that could take you to a zombie-free Martian colony, would you take the ship or stay and fight the zombies?

Before you jump to a conclusion, let me explain what you are up against:

If you stay and fight the zombies, a huge percentage of the population will become mindless, flesh-eating, dangerous predators. You may be infected by the same thing that infected them. They will hunt you down, because they are voracious, tireless eaters who swarm their prey.

[Scared of zombies? Here's to your health! Geekend: Scare Yourself For Health.]

You might think you'll be able to outsmart them or outrun them. You might be right. But don't forget -- even if the zombies don't get you, other humans will. You'll be forced to scavenge for the last vestiges of resources from a dying civilization. You'll be breaking into every convenience store on Earth, looking for that last pack of Twinkies. You'll be living off vodka and old cans of Spam. You'll be breaking into Walmart, fighting your way through hundreds of zombie customers who spent their last moments of consciousness trying to save 10 cents on a bar of soap, in an effort to beat everyone else to the ammunition.

And you can't stop. You can never stop. When your supplies run low, you can try to defend some sort of enclave and maybe grow your own food. But you'll end up defending it, not only from zombies, but also from other humans who resent the fact that you have something. They will try to take it from you. And they are smart. And fast. And they have guns.

You will never sleep safely. You will never eat well. You may have to kill your own kids because they've become zombies.

Still not convinced? Look at this brutally honest view.

So, ready to go to Mars?

Well, that's no treat, either. First, you'll spend 180 days (or more) in a tiny metal box just to get there. All that time there will be no mission control and no fanfare for your brave trip. You're not Neil Armstrong -- you're Ripley from Alien, running from a threat that may destroy your species. Earth is gone, and a barren red rock awaits.

Spend six months in zero gravity and see what happens. Your muscles will atrophy. Your bones will thin. Worse, you'll actually lose blood. Gravity pulls blood to your feet. When gravity disappears, blood distributes evenly, and

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David has been writing on business and technology for over 10 years and was most recently Managing Editor at Enterpriseefficiency.com. Before that he was an Assistant Editor at MIT Sloan Management Review, where he covered a wide range of business topics including IT, ... View Full Bio
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Ariella
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Ariella,
User Rank: Ninja
9/1/2014 | 6:44:35 PM
Re: Next stop: Mars
@Joe well, there's that, but I don't believe the guns are available in the New York locations.
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
9/1/2014 | 9:41:00 AM
Re: Next stop: Mars
FWIW: At least Wal-Mart has guns and knives.
StaceyE
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StaceyE,
User Rank: Apprentice
8/31/2014 | 5:24:54 PM
Re: Next stop: Mars
Plan C does sound much more appealing. I hope the beach has wifi...
StaceyE
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StaceyE,
User Rank: Apprentice
8/31/2014 | 5:23:21 PM
Re: Next stop: Mars
@Shane

I think I agre with you. I would rather take my chances with possible aliens on mars than be chewed up by a zombie at the local Walmart!
SunitaT0
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SunitaT0,
User Rank: Ninja
8/31/2014 | 2:09:47 PM
Re: always wanted to go to Mars
I'm no expert on zombies, but since they are brain dead and also muscle dead, I don't think they need any kind of atmostphere to survive, however, according to a 28 Days Later fan: "Muscles cannot work without (a) oxygen and (b) glucose. The "Zombie Survival Guide" and other similar books make the claim that zombies do not have circulating blood and cannot digest what they eat. That said, zombie locomotion is impossible as described. Viruses cannot alter basic metabolic functions to change the genetic makeup of the infected organism to the point where they can override the built-in mechanisms of respiration, circulation, etc. No fuel, no ghoul."
SunitaT0
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SunitaT0,
User Rank: Ninja
8/31/2014 | 2:06:55 PM
RE: Fight Zombies, Or Go To Mars
Anybody would like to go to Mars but others who really want a taste of the fight against zombies (come on, who doesn't dream of chopping down zombies with a chain saw?) will take the course of the earth.
stotheco
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stotheco,
User Rank: Ninja
8/31/2014 | 10:52:16 AM
RE: Fight Zombies, Or Go To Mars
Zombies might move slow, but if a hundred or so are after you, then more than just speed should be considered. I saw that other zombie movie recently, Warm Bodies, with zombies that are fast and nimble and let me tell you, that was scary. Ticket to Mars for me, please!
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
8/30/2014 | 10:19:16 PM
Re: always wanted to go to Mars
@kstaron: Do zombies need air?

Or, for that matter, a certain degree of atmospheric pressure?
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
8/30/2014 | 10:18:27 PM
Re: Tough Call
@Dave: Who says you have to fight them?

There are already underground survivalist luxury homes for the very rich who can afford them.  I'd rather take that option.  ;)
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
8/30/2014 | 10:17:25 PM
Re: always wanted to go to Mars
@kstaron: Exactly what I was thinking!  One of the zombies gets on board!

The best/worst of both worlds: Zombies on Mars!

Sounds like a movie that MST3K would make fun of.
<<   <   Page 4 / 8   >   >>
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