An IT Admin Walks Into A Bar... - InformationWeek

InformationWeek is part of the Informa Tech Division of Informa PLC

This site is operated by a business or businesses owned by Informa PLC and all copyright resides with them.Informa PLC's registered office is 5 Howick Place, London SW1P 1WG. Registered in England and Wales. Number 8860726.

IoT
IoT
Software // Social
Commentary
8/5/2014
12:00 AM
Connect Directly
LinkedIn
Twitter
RSS
50%
50%

An IT Admin Walks Into A Bar…

Got a good IT joke? Share it! We're collecting IT humor in anticipation of Seth Meyers' comedy keynote at Interop New York.

SNL alum and Late Night host Seth Meyers will perform a comedy keynote at Interop New York on October 1. Meyers’ comedy credentials—head writer at Saturday Night Live and anchor of SNL’s Weekend Update to name two—are enviable, but that doesn’t mean he gets to be the only one who tells jokes.

I’m also willing to bet that Meyers couldn’t tell a LUN from a LAN, or that Cat-5 doesn’t mean you own four other felines. So let’s help him out a little by collecting some IT humor.

I’ll get the ball rolling with a few jokes scooped up from the Internet, but if you’ve got a favorite IT or tech joke, share it with the rest of us.

**A SQL admin walks into a bar and joins two tables. (Source)

**A hot-air balloonist suddenly realizes he’s lost. The balloonist spots a person on the ground and shouts "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The person on the ground says "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do," replies the person. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone."

The person below replies "You must work in management."

"I do," says the balloonist. "How'd you know?"

"Well," says the person, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault." (Source)

**If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0. (Source)

**Tech Support: I need you to right-click on ‘Open Desktop.’

Customer: Ok.

Tech Support: Did you get a pop-up menu?

Customer: No.

Tech Support: Ok. Right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?

Customer: No.

Tech Support: Ok, can you tell me what you’ve done up until this point?

Customer: Sure, you told me to write “click”  and I wrote “click.” (Source)

OK, now it's your turn. Let's see if you can get over the (admittedly low) bar I've set by sharing your own jokes in the Comments section below.

Drew is formerly editor of Network Computing and currently director of content and community for Interop. View Full Bio
We welcome your comments on this topic on our social media channels, or [contact us directly] with questions about the site.
Comment  | 
Print  | 
More Insights
Comments
Newest First  |  Oldest First  |  Threaded View
Joe Stanganelli
100%
0%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Author
8/7/2014 | 5:52:30 PM
Re: ha ha
Q: How many tech support representatives does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None.  They just tell you to turn it off and on again.
Joe Stanganelli
50%
50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Author
8/7/2014 | 5:50:16 PM
Re: ha ha
@vnewman: I originally heard that joke as, well, the cow having a controversial procedure instead of actually giving birth.

My favorite farm-related joke, perhaps:

On his way to a gig, a ventriloquist's car breaks down in a rural area near a farmhouse.  He knocks on the door and asks if he can use the farmer's phone to call a tow truck.  The farmer agrees.

After the phone call, while they're waiting for the truck, the farmer shows the ventriloquist around the farm.

They're in the stables, and the farmer is showing off his prized horses.  The ventriloquist decides to have a little fun with the farmer.  He asks the horse, "Hello, Mr. Horse!  How's the farmer treat you here?"

He then throws his voice; in a high, gruff voice, the "horse" says, "Terrific!  He brushes my hair and takes me out for rides every day!"

The farmer is standing there agape.  The ventriloquist smirks as the farmer looks the horse over in surprise.

They continue the tour.  The farmer takes the ventriloquist outside to the pig pen.  Again, the ventriloquist decides to have fun with the farmer.  He goes up to the nearest pig and says, "Hello, Mr. Pig!  How's the farmer treat you here?"

Then, pulling the same stunt as before, the ventriloquist has the "pig" respond, "Terrific!  He lets me roll around in all this cool mud, and slops me every day!"

The farmer is stunned.  The ventriloquist stifles a chuckle.

The tour continues.  They venture out into the pastures, and come by some sheep grazing.  He ventriloquist goes up to one of the sheep and says, "Hello, Mr. Sheep...!"

The farmer pipes up, "THAT SHEEP'S A FILTHY LIAR!"
Joe Stanganelli
IW Pick
100%
0%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Author
8/7/2014 | 5:35:50 PM
Why did Facebook go public?
Because they couldn't figure out the privacy settings!
Susan_Nunziata
50%
50%
Susan_Nunziata,
User Rank: Strategist
8/7/2014 | 5:29:13 PM
My favorite recent funny
This is not exclusive to IT but I think we can all relate:

http://theoatmeal.com/pl/minor_differences5/suit
Susan_Nunziata
50%
50%
Susan_Nunziata,
User Rank: Strategist
8/7/2014 | 5:14:21 PM
Re: ha ha
@ClareCM: Love it. 
Susan_Nunziata
50%
50%
Susan_Nunziata,
User Rank: Strategist
8/7/2014 | 5:13:20 PM
Re: ha ha
@David: Ewwwwwww!
Susan_Nunziata
50%
50%
Susan_Nunziata,
User Rank: Strategist
8/7/2014 | 5:12:07 PM
Re: ha ha
@nicky48: LOL LOL, that's a classic! 
Susan_Nunziata
50%
50%
Susan_Nunziata,
User Rank: Strategist
8/7/2014 | 5:08:09 PM
Re: Real Conference Calls
@Mejiac: that is one of the funniest ever, having been on so many calls JUST LIKE THAT! Makes me laugh every time I see it. 
David Wagner
50%
50%
David Wagner,
User Rank: Strategist
8/7/2014 | 3:57:45 PM
Re: ha ha
@ClareCM- That's hilarious. I actually interviewed for a job writing error messages at a major IT company that shall remain nameless. They briefly got it in their heads that friendlier error messages would be read more. 

But funny enough, before they hired someone, they decided they were crazy and didn't fill the job. Would have loved to try it. :)
David Wagner
50%
50%
David Wagner,
User Rank: Strategist
8/7/2014 | 3:49:04 PM
Re: ha ha
Can't say I have any good IT jokes, but this is by far my favorite joke:

A travelling saleman is driving by a farm, and, of course, his car breaks down. He walks to the farmhouse for help and while he's going there he sees a pig with a wooden leg.

He gets to the farm house and the farmer helps him call a tow truck. As he's waiting, he says to the farmer, "Hey, what's up with the pig with the wooden leg?"

The farmer says, "that pig? I love that pig. It saved my life! I was caught in a fire and that pig ran into the building and dragged me out through the roaring flames!"

The salesman says, "Wow, that's amazing. Is that when the pig got hurt?"

the farmer says, "No way. When you've got a pig that amazing you don't eat him all at once."
InformationWeek Is Getting an Upgrade!

Find out more about our plans to improve the look, functionality, and performance of the InformationWeek site in the coming months.

News
How SolarWinds Changed Cybersecurity Leadership's Priorities
Jessica Davis, Senior Editor, Enterprise Apps,  5/26/2021
Commentary
How CIOs Can Advance Company Sustainability Goals
Lisa Morgan, Freelance Writer,  5/26/2021
Slideshows
IT Skills: Top 10 Programming Languages for 2021
Cynthia Harvey, Freelance Journalist, InformationWeek,  5/21/2021
White Papers
Register for InformationWeek Newsletters
Video
Current Issue
Planning Your Digital Transformation Roadmap
Download this report to learn about the latest technologies and best practices or ensuring a successful transition from outdated business transformation tactics.
Slideshows
Flash Poll