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All The Tech News Fit To Parody

Fritz Nelson rounds up a month's worth of headlines and YouTube video worthy of ridicule.

Just like with January's Valley View (see Tech News: It's All A Joke), InformationWeek editorial director Fritz Nelson used this month's episode as a platform for irreverence, ridicule, falsification of facts, and violence. As usual, Nelson embellishes some high-profile stories that were ripe for the picking (see the video below).

One story that didn't escape Nelson's scrutiny was the hacking of Syrian president Bashar al-Assad's email account. Relying on InformationWeek's crack investigative reporting team, Nelson also reveals the easily guessed passwords for opening the doors to the Syrian presidential palace.

The U.S. Department of Defense is getting ready to outfit soldiers with Innovega's iOptik contact lenses that make it possible to simultaneously focus on targets both near and far. However, given how the technology isn't quite ready for prime time, the DoD is apparently turning to other forms of inspiration for similar hallucinogenic experiences on the battlefield.

Problems with Microsoft's Silverlight technology weren't the only source of problems for NBC's Internet broadcast of the Super Bowl and the 2.1 million fans who tried to watch it. Video was blurry. Connectivity was intermittent. And then, there was the post-Super Bowl dust-up where a certain losing quarterback's wife repeated the sins of her past.

There was plenty more news for Nelson to cut down to size; a rant on Apple's litigiousness, Nokia's job cuts, and iPhone wins over BlackBerry in some high-profile organizations. But nothing brings out the best in Nelson like a good ol' notebook shoot 'em up with hollow point bullets (we didn't even know that hollow points were $1 per bullet). Be sure to watch the video below.

Attend the March 28 edition of Valley View and you could win!: For each episode of Valley View, one lucky member of our live online audience wins some cool tech gear (for example, we've already given away a bunch of Amazon's Kindle Fires). We announce the winners and the prizes at the end of each show. But to win, you first have to register for the drawing. Or better yet, attend in person at our San Francisco headquarters and meet the editors and guests! If you want to be a member of our live studio audience, just send an email to one of the Valley View hosts: David Berlind or Fritz Nelson. run-of-site player, used to publish article embedded videos via DCT. The same ads will be served on this player regardless of embed location.

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