5 Apple Wearables We Wanted But Didn't Get - InformationWeek

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9/11/2014
08:57 AM
Shane O'Neill
Shane O'Neill
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5 Apple Wearables We Wanted But Didn't Get

The Apple Watch marks Apple's bold foray into the wearables market, but we were hoping for one more thing. Well, maybe five.
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You, too, can sing like this man with the Apple iBono wearable microphone.
You, too, can sing like this man with the Apple iBono wearable microphone.

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David F. Carr
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David F. Carr,
User Rank: Author
9/11/2014 | 10:27:51 AM
iOS underwear
I was predicting iOS underwear, just because I like the sound of it. Not sure what it would be good for, but some folks are saying that about the Apple Watch, too.

Not that far fetched, actually - a couple of months ago we had a story about Microsoft filing a patent for a bra packed with sensors.
Shane M. O'Neill
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Shane M. O'Neill,
User Rank: Author
9/11/2014 | 10:56:58 AM
Re: iOS underwear
I like it. iBoxers for men and iPanties for women (I know women hate the word "panties" but I don't know what else to call them). iOS underwear could measure all sorts of bodily functions too inappropriate to discuss here. But you may be on to something, Dave.
nomii
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nomii,
User Rank: Ninja
9/12/2014 | 8:23:34 AM
Re: iOS underwear
@Shane: iboxers seems to be in an interesting item. I was thinking what will happen to the product when similar Chinese version will be in the market... it will definitely have an mp3 player and might be a camera as well :).
David F. Carr
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David F. Carr,
User Rank: Author
9/11/2014 | 11:19:39 AM
Re: iOS underwear
Michael Endler
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Michael Endler,
User Rank: Author
9/11/2014 | 7:33:20 PM
Re: iOS underwear
Haha, when I saw this headline, I immediately planned to post a link to the Microsoft bra story-- but you beat me to it!
Laurianne
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Laurianne,
User Rank: Author
9/11/2014 | 1:22:19 PM
Re: iOS underwear
I can see a sun protection shirt that warns you when you're sunburning. Or a sunhat with sunburn sensor, esp. for kids. But undergarments? No thank you :) PS Love the fedora idea, Shane.
Whoopty
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Whoopty,
User Rank: Ninja
9/11/2014 | 12:42:18 PM
Glucose
I was actually a bit disappointed that the rumours Apple had a working, bloodless glucose monitoring wearable weren't true. That would have made a massive impact for diabetics the world over, and potentially athletes looking to maximise insulin spikes. 
Michael Endler
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Michael Endler,
User Rank: Author
9/11/2014 | 7:36:49 PM
Re: Glucose
Ditto, Whoopty. And there were all those reports that Apple was meeting with the FDA, and collaborating with the Mayo Clinic. Makes me wonder if Apple is still working out some of the details around privacy for those more in-depth metrics. Everyone already tracks pulse, steps, etc.-- so if Apple simply offers the same metrics but with a better UI and more accuracy, I can see why Apple decided that's adequate for now. But if they don't bring on additional health measurements by generation 2 (if not by the time the first Apple Watch hits in 2015), I'll be disappointed. I've been talking up the potential for glucose-reading wearables for months, and if Apple doesn't pursue this path, we know Google has patents that circle the same idea.
melgross
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melgross,
User Rank: Ninja
9/11/2014 | 12:43:00 PM
Huh?
At first, I thought this was a serious article, but once I began to read it I realized it was satire.
Shane M. O'Neill
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Shane M. O'Neill,
User Rank: Author
9/11/2014 | 1:02:46 PM
Re: Huh?
@melgross We're mixing in light and satirical stories with our new "IT Life" section to complement the more serious news and commentary. Everyone needs a laugh sometime.
tzubair
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tzubair,
User Rank: Ninja
9/11/2014 | 2:36:56 PM
Satire
By the time I was midway through the article, I realized it was satire. 

''Built-in rhythm sensors rate your moves and alert your iPhone on whether you should keep groovin' or get your two left feet off the dance floor.'' I groaned inwardly at this. If my partner chose to get his dancing guidelines from smart socks instead of our chemistry, It would turn me off sooner than anything. Lol. 

 

I did love the idea of smart gloves though. It would be nice to watch a movie like that.
Michael Endler
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Michael Endler,
User Rank: Author
9/11/2014 | 7:40:07 PM
Re: Satire
@tzubair,


Someone already makes smart socks that can teach you to dance!
Shane M. O'Neill
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Shane M. O'Neill,
User Rank: Author
9/12/2014 | 9:04:09 AM
Re: Satire
OMG, I just made up that stuff about the smart socks. Did not know they actually exist!
DukeV619
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DukeV619,
User Rank: Apprentice
9/14/2014 | 9:36:00 PM
iOS Clothing & Wearable Ideas... 1. iOS Helmet (bike, motorcycle, skydiving) 2. The iOS Shoe Phone
I know the article was tongue in cheek, so here are a few more suggestions... 1) the iOS Helmet would be wonderful for everyone that skates, skis, snowmobiles, bikes, motorcycles, skydives, etc. Heck, you could even put it in the safety helmets the 'special' kids wear after they've been exposed to GMOs and Cell Towers.   2) the iOS Shoe Phone. Far more than Maxwell Smart's Shoe Phone with its rotary dial, this digital device can look up your favorite pizza place AND the dress of that girl on the elevator! Aint Life Grand!

    
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