Apple redesigned the pencil to make it more expensive and incapable of writing on anything but its own surface. (Pun totally intended.) Great idea. Next we'll be redesigning paper so the only way you can write on it is with a computer.
People looking to come up with a use for the new pencil point out that some artists and graphic designers use styli every day as part of their work. True. Now, what about the other 350 million Americans?
We could use the Apple Pencil to sign e-docs. Maybe our names will be more legible with this than with the ones available at grocery store checkout lanes now. Maybe there will be an Apple Pencil attached to a little chain in every bank branch.
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This thing will sell. Every Apple product sells, whether we need it or not. Here's what you can do with your Apple Pencil after you rush to buy it and realize you really didn't need an Apple Pencil:
10 Alternative Uses for Apple Pencil
1. Create a stylish hair bun.
And don't think that's only for the ladies. The man bun style is totally in right now.
2. Roll up the toothpaste. You'll need to economize on the little things after paying that much for a pencil. Slowly curl a toothpaste tube around an Apple Pencil so as not to waste an ounce.
3. Clean your shoes. Ever step in … umm … what your neighbor should have scooped up last time he walked the dog? Make Steve Jobs happy (he famously hated the stylus). Use your Apple Pencil to clean out the treads on your shoes.
4. Play the world's most expensive game of pick-up sticks. Get all your disappointed friends together with their Apple sticks … er ... Pencils. At $99 a pop, you've got a $3,000 pick-up sticks set.
5. Poking Android users. You know, the ones with the phones that are more powerful, more flexible, cheaper, and that Apple is basically copying now? You know you want to. The cost of having the cool phone gets higher every day. Wouldn't a poke or two make you feel a little better?
6. Create beautiful pinwheels!
7. Make the world's most expensive Post-It note. Attach an iPad to your refrigerator. Use the stylus to write your grocery list. iPad Pro: $799. Apple Pencil: $99. World's coolest grocery list: priceless.
8. Get two, use them as chopsticks. They're much better than those wooden disposable ones you get with your takeout order. No splinters.
9. Play Pooh Sticks. Hopefully all of you have played a good game of Pooh Sticks in your life. Find a bridge over a stream. Throw your Apple Pencils down to the stream with a friend and see whose floats to the other side of the bridge first. Why Pooh Sticks? Oh my, you really had a rough childhood, didn't you?
10. Play fetch. Your dog needs exercise. Because of Apple's unique design qualities, you can expect this thing to be very aerodynamic. Recommended only for small dogs.