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Top 10 Signs Your Company Isn't InformationWeek Elite 100 Material

Gunning for InformationWeek's elite list of innovative companies? Better hope you don't meet any of these criteria.

Technology leaders need to be both eternal optimists and cold-hearted skeptics. They need to swat away the latest "digital" this and "big data" that. But they then need to turn around and find practical ways to use big data, cloud resources, and mobile to drive revenue and cut costs. They need to deliver the digital experience customers demand.

Delivering this kind of results-oriented innovation is what earned companies a spot on our 2014 InformationWeek Elite 100 ranking. But not every company is, how do we put this, quite so digitally endowed.

If you're not sure how your company stacks up to these 100 innovators, we bring you:

Top 10 Signs Your Company Isn't InformationWeek Elite 100 Material

10. After your CIO's one attempt at improving customer intimacy, he was slapped with a restraining order.

9. Your mobility chief can't say "hot spot" without giggling.

Jim Carrey, Dumb and Dumber (Image credit: Flickr)
Jim Carrey, Dumb and Dumber (Image credit: Flickr)

8. The Snowden leaks reveal that the NSA has absolutely no interest in monitoring your company's communications.

7. Your CMO avoids sentiment analytics because he "never really liked math all that much."

6. Your CIO's "seat at the table" is at the local Chuck E. Cheese's.

5. The location of your Global Center Of Excellence: Bayonne, New Jersey.

4. Your business is about as agile as Abe Vigoda after hip surgery.

3. Your overwhelmed CTO is challenging Moore's Law in court.

2. The last time your CIO met with a customer his mullet was still in style.

1. Your brand new mobile app has more bugs than a Times Square hotel mattress.

Add to the list by leaving your own snarky suggestions in the Comments section below.

For more InformationWeek Elite 100 coverage and a complete listing of the top 100 companies, click here.

Too many companies treat digital and mobile strategies as pet projects. Here are four ideas to shake up your company. Also in the Digital Disruption issue of InformationWeek: Six enduring truths about selecting enterprise software. (Free registration required.)

Rob Preston currently serves as VP and editor in chief of InformationWeek, where he oversees the editorial content and direction of its various website, digital magazine, Webcast, live and virtual event, and other products. Rob has 25 years of experience in high-tech ... View Full Bio

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User Rank: Author
4/3/2014 | 4:51:42 PM
Re: Some other suggestions:
I like your first one, Anon. I can remember covering the spread of Total Quality Management in manufacturing sector, and some zealots among the newly converted were always looking for some new area of the company to use TQM. I swear one person was not entirely kidding when he suggested TQM could help people in their marriages.  
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