ONE TOUGH PLACE TO WORK, PART 2. Lost among the confidential corporate memos from Microsoft honchos Ray Ozzie and Bill Gates that surfaced mysteriously last week (mysterious in the sense that, given the memos were written a couple of weeks ago, it took that long for them to hit the media outlets) was an internal memo leaked from Oracle headquarters, apparently written by Ellison. Just as Gates' missive, describing a radical rethinking of corporate strategy, is destined to be referred to as the "Sea Change" memo, Ellison's will be known as the "T.O." memo-for obvious reasons. InformationWeek obtained a copy, from an anonymous but reliable source.
To: Safra Catz; From: Larry
Safra: I've been thinking about our CFO situation since Maffei left, and I believe I have a solution. I think we should hire the former Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens for the position. Don't get your back up; it makes sense for a lot of reasons. First, Owens is available right now, due to an unfortunate misunderstanding with his employer. Owens represents the Oracle mind-set in many ways: He's an independent thinker, an aggressive go-getter, a win-at-any-cost player. Software and football have a lot in common: You have to have a quarterback (me), a strong running back (you), a receiver to pass to (Phillips), and linemen to block and run interference (you know, those other people). As CFO, Owens could be a ringer, in more ways than one. I suppose he doesn't know much about corporate finance, but he can learn on the job. I have a feeling Owens and I have much in common, and I think we'll get along very well. Besides, if we hire him now, I can hold onto him until I finally get my NFL franchise. Do you want to contact him, or do you want me to? Thanks. Let me know what he says.
Hey, T.O. gets a bad rap. Just because you play a team sport doesn't mean you have to be a team player, does it? Like they say, there's no "I" in team, but there is a "me." So be a team player and send me an industry tip to [email protected] or phone 516-562-5326.