Hear the one about the intrepid explorer who, after months of searching, finally stumbles into a remote Tibetan monastery that clings to a cliff face in the Himalayas? Granted an audience with the head lama, who appears to be about 120, the explorer asks, "O lama, through decades of fasting and meditation you have reached the highest spiritual plane accessible to humans in this world. What is there to wish for or achieve when you have reached your level of enlightenment?" The lama replies, "Well, an iPhone would be nice."No longer free to wonder and speculate about the features, service plan, and potential sales of the iPhone in the United States, the blogosphere has moved on to the Continent. In Europe, the technorati insist, the iPhone will not be limited by the "2.5G" Edge network provided by AT&T, the sole operator supporting the new device in this country. Or will it?

"The Apple cell phone is expected to run on Edge networks in Europe, just as it does … in the United States," my colleague W. David Gardner reported on Friday. That's based on a report in the Financial Times that said O2, the wireless division of Spanish operator Telefonica, had contracted to provide service in the United Kingdom. To the chagrin of European iPhanatics, O2 runs an Edge network. Letdown city!

Of course, the rumors about which carriers will actually offer the iPhone in Europe are about as rife as rumors about the fate of Harry Potter -- and equally ill-founded.

Current Analysis senior analyst Avi Greengart, who's about as hard-nosed about such things as anyone in the business, wrote in a report last month (in the era that will henceforth be referred to as "B.I.P.", while the one we're living in now is "A.I.P.") in which he said that the famous Jobs swagger is not going down as smoothly in the Old World as it tends to in the New.

Several unnamed European operators told Greengart that they had spoken to Apple and found the company "unbelievably arrogant," making demands that "simply cannot be justified, no matter how hot the product is."

"Several were adamant that they will never offer the iPhone," Greengart reported. Therefore, "early indications are that Apple may be forced to go retail-only in Europe."

(When I reached him today, Greengart was suffering from iPhone overload: "I've heard so many rumors about how Apple is distributing the iPhone in Europe -- most of them completely contradictory -- that at this point I simply refuse to speculate.")

With close to 700,000 devices sold in the United States in a week, somehow I'll bet Steve Jobs will be able to reach a deal. In fact, he may already have: keen-eyed blog "ifoAppleStore" spotted a certain balding American in a black mock turtleneck and jeans yesterday browsing the boutiques of London's tony Regent Street, including the sleek white-and-chrome Apple shop. "The Regent Street Concierge bar will be closed next Monday, July 16th, allowing Jobs the perfect opportunity to announce the UK iPhone deal at the store."

Hmmm ... July 16 is O-Bon, the festival of souls in Japan's Shinto religion. There must be some significance in that. I'd better go consult the head lama.