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6/13/2014
09:25 AM
David Wagner
David Wagner
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Geekend: Star Wars/Star Trek Rumor Mills In Hyper-Drive

Internet is breaking under the strain of so many rumors about our favorite geek franchises.

Welcome to the second installment of the Geekend on InformationWeek. If this is a new concept for you, check out last week's column for an explanation. If you are an old Geekend veteran, you'll be excited that we’re covering rumors about some old friends this week.

Earlier this week the Internet giddily glowed with rumors about two of our favorite series -- Star Trek and Star Wars. Star Wars Episode VII (am I the only one that is glad that we're back to episodes matching the number of movies? When someone says "the seventh one," we all know which one that means unlike "the fourth one") broke the interwebs with two rumors -- the Millennium Falcon is back and we have some high class new cast members. Star Trek inspired people to fix the interwebs so it could announce (and then recant) that Netflix had partnered with CBS to make a new Star Trek series. Then it promptly broke again.

Of course, my little geek heart went all a flutter, especially when pictures leaked of the Falcon in mid construction and JJ Abrams cleverly posted this picture.

My advice to JJ -- let the Wookie (and Twitter) win. Rumors are just going to keep coming, like the one that just leaked about Simon Pegg being cast because he visited the set and has been in every JJ Abrams movie since Abrams's film school project -- Lens Flare Cabaret.

You can't stop the rumors nor worry about confirming or denying them all. And Abrams cleverly understood that with his non-denial denial picture.

In fact, I say embrace the rumors. Throw more out there. Enough rumors and we may actually get a new Star Trek series because CBS will see how much buzz the rumors create. And it is a good way to keep a movie that hasn't even been made in the public eye. Remember how much buzz Boy's Life got from claiming Tony Stark designed R2-D2, and there was a Marvel crossover movie coming?

So in that spirit I thought I'd throw out some rumors that I'd like to see come true:

The new Star Trek series is coming and it is about Klingons. You may have heard the actor who played Worf, Michael Dorn, is trying to get a Captain Worf series going. I have to say, with all apologies to Dorn, that Worf on a ship is probably played out. I'd like to see a series with Klingons based on the homeworld and the intrigue in the High Council. How about Worf on the High Council with a corrupt leader of the high council loyal in some way to the Duras family?

Another new Trek series called Star Fleet Academy. Think of it as Saved By the Bell meets Star Trek.

Why would anyone want that, you ask? Because Star Trek characters got a bit stuffy in the later years of the Next Generation and shows beyond that. In Star Fleet you have all these fit, brilliant people around and all they do in their spare time is read old books and play poker. It would be fun to bring back the playfulness of the original series with all flirting but less of the sexism.

Episode IX features a Death Star. You know you want it. The only good Star Wars movies featured one. How could we do it any other way?

Episode VII features Hayden Christensen ... dying in a pleasing way like King Joffrey on Game of Thrones. Let's face it, Hayden was so bad that he nearly single-handedly brought down a franchise. Watching him being dismembered to rise as James Earl Jones was not enough. Fans deserve to see him die. They deserve to react like this (by the way, special geek honors goes to the young woman on the left who complains about cutting the wedding cake with Valyrian steel):

Luke Skywalker gets injured in episode VII and needs a Vader-like mask and is voiced by James Earl Jones. I don't know why this makes sense or anything. I just don't like Mark Hammill's squeaky voice.

Darth Vader comes back ... and he really is all of these peoples’ father.

So what rumors would you like to have come out? Which of them are you hoping are true? Do you want a new Star Trek series? Excited for Episode VII? What do you think the plot will be? Comment below.

David has been writing on business and technology for over 10 years and was most recently Managing Editor at Enterpriseefficiency.com. Before that he was an Assistant Editor at MIT Sloan Management Review, where he covered a wide range of business topics including IT, ... View Full Bio
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batye
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batye,
User Rank: Ninja
8/3/2014 | 12:15:12 AM
Re: Well played
yes, as Dave always able to get/create something interesting :)
StaceyE
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StaceyE,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/31/2014 | 10:10:19 AM
Re: Well played
@ batye

I too find the Geekend's very entertaining.
batye
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batye,
User Rank: Ninja
7/1/2014 | 7:16:28 PM
Re: Well played
could not agree more interesting point...
StaceyE
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StaceyE,
User Rank: Apprentice
6/30/2014 | 7:26:49 PM
Re: Well played
That's a great idea, I look forward to it!
jastroff
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jastroff,
User Rank: Ninja
6/20/2014 | 6:56:57 PM
Re: Bring back Vader
Most of the film's profits have been eaten up by the insurance payments to Harrison Ford... :-)

Don't put an old guy in a young movie, unless he's Alec Guiness
David Wagner
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David Wagner,
User Rank: Strategist
6/20/2014 | 1:06:35 PM
Re: Bring back Vader
@SaneIT- Ha! I doubt that most Jedi assumed balance meant nearly an equal number of Jedi. :)

But one thing I've always hated about the Jedi other than old Obi Wan in episode IV is that they are all so darn smug. They always feel like they know exactly what is right. It was almost enjoyable to watch them get slaughtered.
SaneIT
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SaneIT,
User Rank: Ninja
6/20/2014 | 7:11:45 AM
Re: Bring back Vader
Unless they are Mandalorians then I'm not so sure I'm going to buy a band of 3 Jedi hunters.  It's kind of funny to look at the series from the point of view that the light side was far more prevalent than the dark side so killing off all of the Jedi would be required to bring balance.  It makes you wonder if they ever had that conversation in the Jedi order.  "There can only be two Sith, a master and an apprentice, so how many Jedi do we have?"
David Wagner
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David Wagner,
User Rank: Strategist
6/19/2014 | 1:12:24 PM
Re: Bring back Vader
@SaneIT- Yup. When the prequels were announced I was in grad school for creative writing, and I told everyone who would listen that they were a bad idea. It puts you in a bad storytelling space. Either you are telling people things they already know or you are makign stuff up that never happened before. There were really good reasons why George decided to "start int he middle" with Episode IV to begin with. He should have stuck to the reasons.
kstaron
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kstaron,
User Rank: Ninja
6/19/2014 | 1:12:18 PM
Star wars prophecy
Hmm, What I want them to cover? for star trek we have this whole balance of the force prophecy thing going on. i want to see something where we go back to when that prophecy was made, because I really want to figure out how they messed up the interpretation of that.

I also love the idea of star fleet academy, because you can have brilliant people making really dumb decisions and it makes sense because their brains aren't fully formed.
David Wagner
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David Wagner,
User Rank: Strategist
6/19/2014 | 1:10:36 PM
Re: Bring back Vader
@SaneIT- Wow, i just geeked right along with you there. That's awesome. And it is brought up that Anakin is supposed to bring balance to the force. Having the Sith die isn't balance. That is simply bringing the Dark Side to an end. 

I could totally see a dead Anakin working some sort of balancing act work in some way. 

By the way, since this was published the rumor going around is that the bad guys are a group of three "Jedi Hunters." I'm unimmpressed by the idea of Jedi Hunters since clearly they don't have the Force like a Jedi. We've seen no regular people (except maybe Han) who can can stand up at all to even a a Regular Joe jedi, much less be difficult for a Master to fight. I fear they will simply stand around looking menacing for quite a while until being beaten.
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