If Social Networks Had Theme Songs

Facebook
"You can check out any time you'd like, but you can never leave." ("Hotel California," The Eagles)

Don't believe me? Just try to delete your account.

Instagram
"I'm only happy when it rains." ("Only Happy When It Rains," Garbage)

Ever hear of Facebook depression? This is when you see all the happy status updates and wonderfully happy pictures of your friends and think your life can't compare. That's because everyone else is filtering their life to make sure the bad stuff isn't seen. Instagram is 10 times worse, because people don't post any negative status updates. All they do is post their most perfect pictures of their most perfect life. And you're left to hate every one of them.

Foursquare
"It's the terror of knowing what the world is about. Watching some good friends scream, 'Let me out.'" ("Under Pressure," Queen and David Bowie)

Your friends want you to know where they are, even if they don't want to be there.

Google Plus
"My words like silent raindrops fell and echoed the wells of silence." ("The Sound of Silence," Simon and Garfunkel)

Don't bother posting on Google+; all those accounts are just Gmail users who were forced to join. Google+ is an echo chamber. Yes, it is clearly the best designed social network on the Internet. Yes, nobody cares.

Myspace
"The last of the rock stars when hip hop drove the big cars. In the time when new media was the big idea. What was the big idea?" ("Kite," U2)

Even JT is having trouble bringing sexy back to Myspace, but it has a cool look, some great music, and a new lease on life. Just maybe this will be the first social network to lose its user base and bring it back. If not, at least it can say it was big once.

There are too many social networks for me to get them all. Plus, I wanted to leave some fun for you guys. What song lyrics remind you of LinkedIn? How about Buzzfeed or Reddit? Can you find a (clean) song to describe Tinder? Deviant Art? Secret? Bubblews?

What songs did I get wrong? What are your favorite social networks, and which ones do you hate? Answer (in song, if you can) in the comments.

In its ninth year, Interop New York (Sept. 29 to Oct. 3) is the premier event for the Northeast IT market. Strongly represented vertical industries include financial services, government, and education. Join more than 5,000 attendees to learn about IT leadership, cloud, collaboration, infrastructure, mobility, risk management and security, and SDN, as well as explore 125 exhibitors' offerings. Register with Discount Code MPIWK to save $200 off Total Access & Conference Passes.