Dell Simplicity Involves Complicated Names

Sunday newspaper inserts from Dell last week proudly declared, "Depend on Dell for simple solutions in tough times." But don't expect the product names to be any help.Dell offers a variety of brands, or sub-brands as the experts would say (and have likely advised Dell, at great expense). You can buy a Vostro, even if it sounds like a new cup size at Starbucks, or an Inspiron (which sounds awfully close to the infectious agent that causes Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease). Other models are named Latitude, Optiplex, Precision, and XPS.

Why?

I know that there are folks reading this essay who could answer that question without hesitation, and probably tell me I'm an ingrate for even asking it. But Dell is first and foremost a consumer brand and, as such, its branding should be self-evidently obvious and useful to potential purchasers.

Do the brand names correlate with product types? Price categories? Accessories or service contract configurations? Do the brand names help deliver on the promise of "simple solutions"?

They don't, because there's no rhyme or reason to the naming, as far as I can see. And I've actually taken more time to figure it out than an otherwise-preoccupied consumer might commit to the puzzle.

Let's assume that there really are functional differences between the Voronado and Omniflex (or whatever); marketing has failed to tell us what they are, or why we should care (or pay for one over the other). And a cardinal rule of the branding racket is that there should be a reason for using brand names and, if there isn't, then they shouldn't be used.

Maybe the best answer for the company's branding is also the simplest: Call 'em all Dells.

Jonathan Salem Baskin writes the Dim Bulb blog, and is the author of Branding Only Works On Cattle.